The songs have strong, loving messages that support self-esteem and the experience of feeling safe in the world. They also gently remind the listener of their connection to God. They were sung to be as comforting, soothing and affirming as humanly possible. This has proven to be very helpful to those healing from childhood trauma's of all kinds.  Here are some stories people sent to me. Some of them include links to websites whose purpose it is to support anyone in recovery from childhood abuse.   Carole from the UK writes: Dear Shaina: I have been thinking about your music, about my journey and about how the two have met up. My history is one of child abuse - sexual, emotional, physical, and psychological. I was given a copy of Songs for The Inner Child a few years ago. There have been times when I have been totally unable to listen to it, and other times when that is all I have wanted to do. I think that How could Anyone speaks to my inner child in a way that as yet I have not been able to do. I am listening to it as I write, and my hope is that one day I will be able to 'own' the words and feelings that it represents and connect with my little girl and give her at least something of what the song does. I cannot in words portray what this collection of songs means to me, but I do know that "How Could Anyone" reaches a part of me that hitherto remained untouched. Thank you, Shaina. Carole from the UK @ http://winkingtiger.homestead.com/Carole.html Visit Angels of the Round Table, a safe haven where Survivors will receive acceptance, support and, if they wish it, guidance on their journey.     Chelle from Alberta, Canada writes: Dear Shaina: I just wanted to write you and tell you my story, and what an impact your music has had on my road to recovery. As a young teen, I had been sexually abused numerous times. I was also living with emotional abuse and an alcoholic family. I ended up starving myself to gain some kind of control in my chaotic life. I've suffered from anorexia and bulimia for 5 years now. Finally this past year, I went to get help at an eating disorder clinic. I stayed there for 21 days and they played your CD a lot. One day, we all stood in a circle and held hands, and they played “How could Anyone”... and I cried hearing it, because it hit me so hard. During this time, many memories of past abuse were brought up, and I started having nightmares each night. I stopped sleeping, I continued to starve myself, and I began cutting. But I would hum your songs, and I looked everywhere for you CD but could not find it. Then in April, I ended up in a psychiatric ward for trying to kill myself. While I was there, they put me on sleeping pills and I became dependent on them. When I ended up coming back home, I decided to go stay with my Grandma for a while. While I was there, we went into a new age store and found your CD, Songs for the Inner Child. I was so happy. I played your songs over and over. For the past week, I haven't taken any sleeping pills at night because I play your songs, and they put me to sleep. And while I sleep, I haven't had nightmares of my past. How Could Anyone will always hit home with me. Your CD has brought me peace of mind, and given me hope; it's helping me so much on my road to recovery. Thank you. Chelle, Alberta, Canada     Cindy Lutz of Stevens Point, WI writes: I want to thank you for your gift of music. I have had your cassette Songs for the Inner Child for many years now, have played it often, and find it still brings me great comfort. A long time ago, in a search for refuge after another chaotic episode in our home, one sunday afternoon, I found myself in a local book store. I think I was desperately looking for some source of explanation of the insane existence I was living, and there, in the self-help section, was Melody Beattie's book, Beyond Co-Dependency. It called to me, and I devoured the book. Could this be me? How could she know what I was feeling? Does this mean I'm not crazy? I'm not stupid? Is there more to this feeling of discontent than what I was being allowed, or allowing myself to believe. Soon after, I became aware of and attended a retreat for co-dependents being offered locally. I truly believe this was divine intervention because, I still wasn't sure what a co-dependent was, had not allowed myself to accept that this might be me, and certainly was not one to attend events where one might have to share any internal 'hidden secrets'. Yet, I went. It was there, all those years ago, the seed of understanding was first planted. The knowledge it was not 'me', or 'my problem' as I had constantly been told it was. There where I was first given the assurance I was perfect in every way as a child of God. That was a long long time ago, and there have been many tears, heart breaks, days of searching, renewal, awareness, denial...at times, there still is... Yet, that cassette tape has been with me through all these days and especially through the nights. I can't tell you the number of times I went to sleep with the headset on, and the sound of your voice singing me to sleep. Somehow surrounding myself with that sound only, gave me a sense of well-being, of safety, I had never had before. I am further on my journey to recovery, and growth, now. And where at one time I used your music every night for months on end to re-assure me, and give me a feeling of well being, I am now able to find that, sometimes within myself, and sometimes from other people I've been lucky enough to have with me through this ordeal. But, as I prepared for bed tonight, I found myself once again looking for that tape, not out of desperation as I once did, but, out of a sense of comfort, and reassurance. Once again, I thought of you, and your music, I had been unsuccessful, for years, in finding another copy of your music. Had even asked in music stores if they could order it, and they could not locate it. I had looked for you on line years ago, and found nothing. At times, I even wondered if you actually existed, or if the one tape I had was a miracle from God, as no one else I talked to, had been introduced to your music. But, tonight, for some reason, I was drawn to the computer, just on the chance I might be able to find something now. And there you were, your web site, and even your music. So, pardon me for my rambling, I know I'm a stranger to you, but, you are well known to me, and I wanted to tell you what a source of comfort and healing your music has been in my life. Thank you so much for helping me to know, I'm not 'anything less than beautiful', I'm not 'anything less than whole'. May God bless you for the ministering you have done through your music. Amen. Cindy Lutz Stevens Point, WI     Don Shetterly, of Breaking the Silence.net, writes: "The first time I was introduced to Shaina Noll's music was at a Voices conference in Chicago, IL. Ellen Bass was completing her keynote address at the conference and she ended with the audience singing How Could Anyone. It was the first time I had ever heard this song and singing it with fellow survivors brought me to tears. Here are the words to this song: 'How could anyone ever tell you - you were anything less than beautiful. how could anyone ever tell you - you were less than whole. How could anyone fail to notice that your loving is a miracle. How deeply you're connected to my soul.' The next time I heard this song was when a therapist played it for me one day in a therapy session. I immediately recognized it and with the topic of the therapy session, it brought tears to my eyes. Fortunately I was able to find the CD, Songs For the Inner Child, which features the song How Could Anyone. During this time, I was going through a very difficult point in my life and the little child within me was hurting so much. I began to play this CD time and time again. Most of the time, I would play only the song How Could Anyone. in the morning before leaving for work and then before I went to bed at night. I did this for about a month and it began to change how I viewed myself and how I started to accept myself." -- Don Shetterly Breaking the Silence.net, "a place for survivors of child abuse and those who support them, including therapists, educators, and legislators." Their online store carries both of Shaina's titles, if you would like to order directly from them.

Liz Mullinar of Mayumarri in Cessnock, Australia, writes: We are an organisation for survivors of child abuse with branches extensively in Australia and New Zealand but also with members in the UK and The USA. Our organisation is devoted to encouraging our members to heal from the effects of their abuse. We do this in our healing programme at our centre, Mayumarri, by connecting our guests with their inner child. Your music has been so inspiring and helpful, the track "How could anyone ever tell you that you were anything less than beautiful" is particularly loved. It helps our guests connect with their own innate beauty and helps them accept that they have the right to love themselves. Your voice is so caring, loving, caressing, it has helped so many of our guests. We are so glad we "happened' on your CD. Each survivor has a unique contribution to make, to help other survivors in their healing journey. You are blessed with the gift of song which truly does help other survivors heal; I think they can hear and feel that you have been there too and that you do understand and want to help them heal. Thank you, Liz Mullinar Mayumarri, ASCA(Advocates for Survivors of Child Abuse) PO Box 361, Cessnock NSW 2325, Australia Website: www.asca.org.au Advocates for Survivors of Child Abuse (ASCA) is an Australia based, nonprofit organisation dedicated to helping adult men and women come to terms with their childhood trauma. ASCA is a survivor-initiated organisation and was founded in 1995 by psychologist Dr. Martha C. Dean, Pauline Groves, Liz Mullinar and Christopher Thomson. This painful legacy must be acknowledged, so those who are suffering can find inner peace and be supported in their recovery.     Manuela from Austria writes: Dear Shaina,   I started a psychotherapy for myself at the beginning of last year. I could not say why, but I was in use of something. As the relationship between my and my therapist grew stronger things came up to me. Getting to know about my childhood and the truth, that my parents were never able to give me deep love shattered my soul and still does. The worst thing about it all was that I could not give my inner child a voice, arms, legs or tears to express all that pain. But step by step I`m learning to and I will never give up, for my dear one is worth and has the right of being heard, seen and felt. As time went bye I found people to share my experiences with, found places to go and also found your music. I cannot remember having been touched that way before. I only read the songtext of "How could anyone" on the net and started crying. It`s not only that you touched my soul, but you also strengthened me and my little one by giving us boundless love and deep peace. Also the stories on your page are a real pleasure. I thank god (the never ending love) for your existence and the pleasure you bring to all of us. And I thank for the privilege I and my little Dear got to get to know each other and all the people, who are not fighting for love but who are bringing it into the world as you do.   I send you all my loving Manuela, Austria      Marlys from Iowa writes: I heard Songs For The Inner Child while at Rockhaven, a retreat center outside St. Louis, Missouri. It was at a retreat dedicated to raising the consciousness of women. This music is invaluable for healing of broken hearts, battered and abused persons and any pilgrim on the journey of love and spiritual growth. Marlys from Iowa         Susan from Reno writes: Dear Shaina, Songs for the Inner Child is an incredible collection of music. It wasn't until I heard "You can relax now", and most especially "How Could Anyone" that trying to find my inner child made sense to me. 'And the making sense to me', wasn't on an intellectual level, it starting making sense in a feeling place. (My thinking just got in the way). In listening to the music, in feeling the music, was and is the best way I am able to get in touch with 'my little one within'. I listen while I go to sleep, while I'm driving, and especially when I know that I have to do something that is terrifying to my inner child. I wish I could put into words the peace that your songs have brought me. Without your music reaching my little girl would have remained elusive. With your music I have learned, my heart is a much better listener than my head. Thank you Susan from Reno     T. K. from PA writes: Dear Shaina, I was introduced to your music a couple of months ago by an on-line friend. She wrote me a soothing e-mail, including a verse from "You Can Relax Now" when I was having a very difficult time. Learning of Songs for the Inner Child came at the perfect time for me. I was looking for some music to sing to MY Inner Child. I never really got any nurturing as a child. I got hit and belittled instead. "Songs" has had a PROFOUND affect on me. I cried the first time I listened to it. You seemed to be singing directly to ME, and to my inner child. I pictured you sitting in an over-sized wooden rocking chair, singing to one of your children, and gently rocking her to sleep. I vicariously experienced that, through your powerful gifts. I cried the next several times I listened to "Songs". But the tears were my inner child's. They were the tears of an injured child. I have never cried from so deeply within my soul before. It was painful and it was healing. Shaina, I have progressed SO MUCH in my recovery as a result. Messages like "How Can Anyone" are slowly starting to replace all the negativity inside me. YOU are helping me AT LEAST AS MUCH, if not MORE, than my therapist! Songs for the Inner Child has become my inner child's favorite. I often find myself singing various selections to her/us during the day. I am much more at peace since doing so. I cannot express to you how much your music continues to heal me. My inner child and I often drift off into a restful sleep to the strains of your CD. Few things calm me like that. I don't know how to show my gratitude for all you have done for me, except to offer you a VERY heartfelt, "Thank you". Sincerely, T. K. from PA     Patty Lockwood writes: Dear Shaina, I found your cassette Songs For The Inner Child at a Goodwill thrift store.  The title and the cover called to me so I spent the 50 cents willingly, not knowing what a gold mine I had discovered, not by chance, because it was much more than chance that I found it.  Life changing, is all I can say.   I confronted the fact that I was hiding a hurt inner child for all my life just while listening to "How Could Anyone".  My mother never wanted a third child, which I am, and I always knew it and was told so in the lack of nurturing and then when my mother died, it was the first thing my father told me after her funeral.  I cannot blame my mother for her way, her life was not an easy one, her path difficult, but my own inner child needs to feel loved, wanted, so the work has begun in earnest.   Thanks for singing your songs.   I plan on writing about them and linking your site on my blog today.    Blessings, Patty Lockwood  Morning Ramble Blog Morning Ramble Gifts

Eula Mathis, M.S.W., of the Women's Center of Wake County, writes: Dear Shaina: This is a story about Mary, who is black and 35 years old. Mary began using drugs and alcohol at the age of 13. Her family life was chaotic, with a father who drank and mother who had difficulty being available emotionally for her child. Alcohol and drugs became Mary's best friends. They numbed the pain and helped her sleep and face things that she preferred not to remember. They helped her to believe that boys really loved her when they abused her sexually, physically and emotionally. When she gave birth to her daughters, she wanted love and to be needed. She discovered that she was not capable of meeting her children's needs. The alcohol and drugs became more important than taking care of her children. After several warnings by the local human services office, her first daughter was taken from her and placed in foster care. Mary tried several times to follow the plans the social worker made for her but she could not do it. She could not provide shelter for herself or her daughter. She finally agreed that it would be best for someone else to parent her daughter but it broke her heart to let her daughter go. Mary became pregnant again and was determined to not lose this daughter. The pattern of drinking alcohol, doing drugs, having abusive male relationships and being homeless continued. She was, however, able to work enough and stay clean and sober enough to not lose her daughter to foster care. Mary became a frequent visitor at the Women's Center day shelter and received financial assistance, bus tickets, and food pantry services. Staff members at the day shelter gave her support and messages that she could be whatever she wanted to be. She decided to go into an outpatient treatment center, while her daughter lived with a relative. She came out of treatment and went back to alcohol and drugs. By this time, Mary's daughter was 13 years old and the two of them went into an emergency shelter program. She went to outpatient groups regularly and became clean and sober again. She got an apartment through the housing authority but it was in a drug-infested area and her apartment was across the street from a store where drug dealers hung out. She was faced with the temptation everyday and could not resist it. Mary continued to find herself in emotionally and physically abusive relationships. On a visit to the Women's Center, after a physically abusive encounter, she asked for help in taking this man to court. Mary began to ask for more help with her problems. She was told about our Mentor Advocate program designed to help mothers and children. After several visits to the Center, she asked to join the program. I became her Mentor Advocate and together we began to make plans on how she could create changes in her life. Addressing the needs of the mothers, the Women's Center developed a support group called Inner Power and Freedom. In this group, we teach women meditation and give them an opportunity to be in a peaceful setting with music and candles. One of our facilitators introduced an audio tape, Songs for the Inner Child, by Shaina Noll. Mary came to this support group and heard Shaina's songs. The music brought forth tears and deep emotions. Mary said that when she heard the music, what she was feeling was the same as when she got high on drugs, and it gave her a feeling of peace that she did not want to lose. She made the decision that day to close down her apartment and go into an inpatient treatment program. The hardest decision was how to handle the care of her 17-year-old daughter. Mary requested help with her daughter through the local human service agency but they told her that due to her daughter's age there was nothing they could do. Mary sat in my office and explained to her daughter that she needed help and could not be the mother she wanted to be. Her daughter told her mother, "I know you are hurting and I want you to get help. Do what you have to do and I will be okay." Mary arranged for her daughter to live with a relative. She went into the treatment center and did her work. She asked to be placed in a house for women in recovery in another city; she knew too many drug dealers and they knew her. A substance abuse counselor drove her 200 miles away to another city. She located employment and stayed in a transitional home for women in recovery. She called me frequently and received support from me and the Women's Center. She sends me beautiful letters and has told me many times how hearing Shaina Noll sing, "How could anyone ever tell you that you're anything less than beautiful" led to recovery, self esteem and a peaceful feeling inside. She asked me to say to Shaina, thank you for your words and music.   Eula Mathis, M.S.W. Mentor Advocate Women's Center of Wake County: a multi-resource center for women. Founded in 1976, it is a non-profit agency and part of the United Way Family. The Women's Center's three areas of concentration are counseling, education and basic needs. The primary population using their services are homeless, low-income and women in transition reaching women of all socioeconomic backgrounds. Programs include Mothering From the Soul support group for women and children, Inner Power and Peace support group, Partners in Change and Twinkles.

I have received numerous letters from therapists working in this area, as well as the patients themselves. Apparently the songs have been particularly helpful for those dealing with MPD/DID who have night fears that keep them from sleeping. Some have written to tell me they put the CD on continuous play and it is the only thing that calms their inner children and allows them to sleep.

1. J. & N. W. write: Hello Shaina! We are writing you because we were so moved by the music on your "Song's for the Inner Child". A friend of ours bought us this cd; we had heard one song on it that we got from a music sharing program online. We loved it so much we just had to have your cd, but we didn't have the funds to do so. So, our friend bought it for us, and loved it so much she bought one for herself too! :-) We are a couple - J/31/M and N/34F. N had DID - that is multiple personality disorder. There are many, many children in N's system of alters, and many of them do not get along well. There were 68 children listening to your cd, and for the very first time ever there was no yelling or arguing whatsoever. They were all silent, and it seemed that they were inside of a healing and very peaceful bubble. This was so wonderful!!!!! Thank you so much for giving to us, and to the world such a wonderful and healing gift!!! We wish you all the very best in all that you do. With Light, Love and Healing ~ J. & N. W.

2. Moley's Counsel writes: shaina, i am called moley. we are did/mpd. we have been in therapy for 10 years now and recently found the others-inside. it's been a long and hard journey and will continue to be long and hard. an on-line did friend sent us the song "how could anyone", only she titled it "beautiful". she heard it in a psych ward, where they played it over and over. at the time, she didnt understand it was "not" for littles but for the inner child, two very different things. she and her littles were very blessed by it. she sent it to us, as she knew we were having a very hard time lately.  we weren't able to download it for a while and then one week ago, it "miraculously" was on my realplayer.  we have been playing it almost continously since..everytime we are on line . your voice and music and lyrics are truely a blessing to us. our littles feel so nurtured when we listen. we cry very hard every time we play it.  ..........we were sexually, physically and emotionally abused almost from the time we were born. we had no memories until we were 44 y o in the body. we are 52 now. but our littles and "middles" are still very young. they are often frightened and verra sad. we hope some day to create a seminar to tell the truth about abuse. abuse of any kind can no longer be kept a secret in our society or any other society. we must tell the children and the spouses of abuse that it is ok to tell. that they will be believed and still loved. we need harsher laws against the abusers. the abused who have been "split" need to know that they ARE beautiful and that they can, one day, be whole. it feels so ugly to be abused. it feels so ugly to be split. and yet, we believe that mpd/did is a gift from God that allows us to survive. perhaps, one day, we...moley's counsel...will feel truely beautiful inside...we will feel loved by God...that we will be lovable....thank you from all our hearts for your gift. may God truly bless you and your husband, your family and friends, your music and your fellow musicians. we're sure you never expected the impact you would have on the did society....but we are verra glad you are here!    Love, Moley's Counsel All things ought to be kept decent and in good order. (quaker saying)

The songs have been used by families who have children with Down Syndrome, most particularly How Could Anyone (How could anyone ever tell you, you were anything less than beautiful. . . How could anyone ever tell you, you were less than whole. . . How could anyone fail to notice that your loving is a miracle, how deeply you're connected to my soul...).   The lyrics to this song have been a powerful tool in helping new parents accept a child born with any kind of disability, as well as in gifting their child with the unconditional love and acceptance the song brings. Particularly as children get older and may be teased, or feel self-conscious about a disability, many of these songs can help support and deepen their understanding that they are, as the lyrics of You Can Relax Now affirm, "a child of God. . . and that will never change..."

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Mary Bryant of Reno, Nevada, writes: I first heard "Songs for the Inner Child" while I was having a massage. My massage therapist, Dennis, had been working with me for several years, including through my pregnancy with my first child, Kailin. Kailin was born with Down Syndrome and changed our lives in the most profound and positive ways. Dennis knew how deeply I loved Kailin and how perfect she was to me. One day when I arrived for my massage, he played the CD, starting with "How Could Anyone". I was astonished at how perfectly it spoke my feelings about Kailin, and the feelings that mothers of children with disabilities have for their children. I was sure it had been written by such a mother! As I listened to the rest of the CD, it was soothing and spoke to my heart. I regularly listened to it and sang along to Kailin as she went to sleep. Among my favorites is also "Everything Possible". I sang this to her from early in her life to instill that great things are possible for her and that she has no limitations. It must have worked. At age 6, she is already a Yoga teaching assistant, and enjoying a very full and happy life! The song "It's a Joy to Get to Know You" was another that felt very significant to me, because it has been such a joy to get to know both of my daughters, each with her own special gifts and abilities. All of the songs on this CD will have meaning to every mother, and will appeal greatly to those who have children with special needs! Mary Bryant, Reno, Nevada The largest organizations that asssist families of children with Down Syndrome are: National Down Syndrome Congress National Down Syndrome Society A website that looks at disability as a natural thing: Disability is Natural

Sometimes touching stories come to me that don't quite fit into any of my website's healing uses categories. You will find some of them here:

I've compiled this list of the ways in which my music has been used for healing and recovery by individuals, groups and institutions around the world. If you have used my music in healing or recovery work, and would like to share your experience with others who might benefit from your story, please write to me using the link below: