I have been deeply touched by hearing stories of how my songs have been used as a source of comfort for the dying. Our culture has so few resources available for those who are preparing to make their transition out of this life. I feel honored to know that my songs have been useful in gifting those who are dying.

As you'll read in the stories below, the songs have been a gift not only to those who are dying, but to their loved ones and caretakers as well. In many cases, selected songs have been played - or sung - at memorial services, and have been of great comfort to friends and family after the loss of a loved one.

(Please see the section on Grieving for more on the use of the songs after the loss of a loved one).

Redflower, a hospice volunteer from Tucson, Arizona, writes:

Dear Shaina,

I was a hospice volunteer for 6 ½ years before becoming ill myself.  A friend introduced me to your CD, Songs For The Inner Child, and I carried it everywhere for patients and myself.  Dying is still often a taboo in our culture, the elephant in the middle of the living room.  

One lady stands out in my mind.  She was being treated by hospice in a skilled nursing facility.  She had experienced a number of days of upset and agitation.  We were considering moving her to the hospice inpatient unit.  I sat quietly beside her and played and sang the CD – It’s A Joy To Get To Know You, Peace Be With You, and more.  This wonderful lady not only calmed and spent the next two days on the unit but peacefully passed.  

My Dad is now in hospice, in a skilled nursing home.  I play the CD for us, close my eyes, and see my Dad healthy and whole, peaceful.  

Thank you in peace, may your kindnesses lead to the kindness of others,

Redflower
Tucson, AZ

Rev. Cynthia Trapanese, Spiritual Care Coordinator at Hospice Atlanta, writes:

My name is Cynthia Trapanese. I am a Board Certified Chaplain, and the Spiritual Care Coordinator for Hospice Atlanta, the oldest and largest non-profit hospice in Atlanta. We have a home care program, a beautiful 36 bed inpatient facility, and a pediatric program. All of the rooms in our inpatient facility are convertible to pediatric rooms, so we have the option to have our kids/families come to the inpatient center if they wish (fairly unique option in pediatric hospice programs).

I am writing to thank you for your ...Inner Child CD. A friend of mine (a fellow pediatric chaplain) gave me a copy several years ago and it was a significant part of my own healing journey. I played it every morning for many months. Then, one day, evening actually, I had a last minute inspiration to use one of your songs in a group I was
leading - and from there your CD's presence in my work began! I have had five or six copies, always giving them away and then replacing them.

Most recently, I gave a copy to the mom of a patient in our pediatric program. The patient is a four year old boy who has experienced a life, since birth, of testing and treatment. Finally at age two the parents received his diagnosis of a rare mytochondrial disorder. This child has never been able to see, speak or walk. He now seems to be uncomfortable most of his waking hours, but of course our team is working to change that.

He had never had a blessing or baptism ceremony (his father expressed anger at God after his birth and the pastor at the traditional protestant church did not allow for that, and they left their church and church community and did not return). We have danced around the planning of his service for many months, and finally when we set a date and sat together to plan--the parents had been thinking of elements for the service that felt much more like a funeral than a blessing or baptism. I was working with them to create a service that was a celebration with a ritual of blessing. And, of course, I acknowledge that the parents are so so tired, weary and heartbroken and exhausted. But, your song, "How could anyone ever tell you..." was the key. I played it for them, and it softened their hearts so that they could connect with the love they feel for him. We used that song in the blessing service which we held in their home, and then I left the CD for the mom to keep.

This is just one example. I have also used that same song at pediatric
memorial services. Again, thank you so much for your work, your light,
your healing energy.

Rev. Cynthia Trapanese
Spiritual Care Coordinator
Hospice Atlanta
1244 Park Vista Drive
Atlanta GA 30319

Royda Crose, PhD, Psychologist/Gerontologist writes:

A few years ago, I spoke to you on the phone and you generously sent me 10 copies of your tape, Songs for the Inner Child, to distribute to nursing homes, hospice programs, and other places where healing music would be of benefit. I want to report where some of the Songs for the Inner Child tapes were placed. 

I have passed on tapes to several patients in nursing homes or to their nurses to play for them. One hospice worker requested a tape after she heard the first song on the album in a workshop setting. One colleague took a tape to play for the family at the funeral of his estranged father. He was very moved by your music and wanted to share it with other members of his family. 

Most recently a group of my friends have used your music in caring for a friend who had terminal breast cancer. After her cancer metastasized, we formed a care group to help her live as fully as possible for the rest of her life. She lived for two more years and died on June 21, 2000.  

At our first organizing meeting to figure out how to share the care, we played, How Could Anyone. Tonight we will have our last meeting as Ellen's Angels Care Group. I plan to open the meeting with that same song. During the last days of Ellen's life, as she lay struggling for breath in the hospital, your tape was playing constantly to give her comfort. My last image of her, two hours before she died, was seeing her in the hospital bed, with her 32 year old son lying by her side singing lullabies in her ear along with your music. At her memorial service, one friend sang, Peace Be With You,after learning it from your album. I will be writing about this experience of caring for Ellen in a book that I'm calling Ellen's Angels: Sharing the Care. 

I used Songs for the Inner Child in my own family. For months after the divorce of her parents, my granddaughter (age 5), soothed herself every night by listening to your tape. At bedtime she wanted those healing lullabies to ease her into sleep during this very emotional distressing time in her family. 

Your music is certainly doing what you intended, bringing joy, comfort and healing to people in all phases of life, illness, and grief.  

Royda Crose, Ph.D.
Psychologist/Gerontologist
www.lifecycles.net
www.ellensangels.org

Mark Swanson, LMT, wrote the following:

"Last June, while my oldest daughter was in Hospice dying from cancer at the tender age of 26, I played a CD of Songs for the Inner Child. The restlessness that she had been experiencing was immediately quelled as the music and words of the first song,"How Could Anyone", began to fill the room with peace and soothing tones. 

I would recommend this CD to any therapist whose clients have been damaged by life's hardships, disease and unthinking people. 

I chose to give this CD as a gift to many of my friends and clients for Christmas. The positive feedback that I have received from all that have heard this CD only serves to confirm my feelings."

Mark Swanson, LMT

Zariah Ricossa, Chaplain at the Hospice Of The North Coast, wrote:

Dear Shaina;

I have the joy and honor of being a hospice chaplain and two months ago got an ipod and thru it have been using music in my work with the dying and their families...and your Inner Child lullabys have brought phenomenal depths of healing and comfort at such a tender time in life!!!

As you may well know, at this intense, vulnerable, frightening time of transition into the unknown, one is stripped of all the outer persona and attachments, and the soul's closest image seems to be the inner child longing for the comfort and unconditional love of the (Divine) Mother I had two young beautiful souls in this past month with unforgettable scenes imprinted in my heart which included your music.

The first was a 39 yr. old woman who had been a closet alcoholic full of shame with an angry mom I played, How Could Anyone Tell You...first with her, then later w/ her mom, and Lullabye with her mom sobbing as her dau. was in an outwardly non-responsive state. A couple days later, I arrived 1/2 hr. after her death and as I entered the house, her mom met me with, Play that music; I want that music which we played/prayed over her bringing final healing/reconciliation / release to them both.

Then there was 30 yr. old Paul with his young wife and 2 1/2 yr. old daughter. He was hanging on to live thru Thanksgiving. So two days before Thanksgiving, I had the first powerful spiritual opening between him and his wife who had been so defended, she couldn't open up before. I asked her to sit with Paul on the sofa as I played, Lullabye... They curled up like two little children with eyes closed. Little Katelyn full of energy needed to be included. So as I felt the waltzing rhythm of this sweet song, I scooped her up and we danced as I watched her parents hold each other. Katelyn hummed, la, la, la,... along w/ the music.
The day after Thanksgiving, Paul died peacefully and as the team was present, his wife played Lullabye one more time.....

Thank you on behalf of our countless inner kids so in need of healing, unconditional love, and learning how to trust.....!!!!! May Divine Mother's gift of music continue to flow through you to our world's wounded.

Gratefully,

Zariah Ricossa
Hospice Of The North Coast
Carlsbad, California

Mary Jo, of Santa Barbara, California, wrote the following:

Dear Shaina:
 
My daughter lived with a brain tumor for 6 years before she passed away.  Just before she was diagnosed a friend shared your tape with her and later we got the CD.  It was always a favorite of hers, especially the first song, "How Could Anyone".  During the last few weeks of her life we played that CD often and in the last hours of her life we had it playing softly in her room.  She died on Mother's Day and we had a beautiful memorial service for her and my beloved sister sang your song for the friends who had gathered.  Most people had never heard it and they were deeply moved.  It will always be so special to us......there really are no words to describe what it has meant to us.  I'm sure you have heard this from many others.  Now I treasure every song on that CD......especially "You Can Relax Now"....even though I cry every time I hear it.  Diane was 35 when she died but she will always be my little girl.  I'm sure you understand.

I just wanted you to know how your music touched us......how much it added to the holy atmosphere in Diane's room where friends came to sit by her and pray for her.  Many, many people told us they were lifted up by being there.....that the peace was something they had never experienced....and your music helped make it so. 
 
My family and I thank you for this gift you have shared with the world.  I hope to be able to continue to share your music with others as I continue on my path.
 
With love and gratitude,
 
Mary Jo
Santa Barbara, CA