Healing Uses: Grief

Songs for the Inner Child Healing and Recovery Uses

Many people have shared that my songs have been of comfort to them during times of grieving. I have been very moved by these stories. While people's grief can be a deep and private experience, below you will find stories from some people who generously offered to share their experiences in case they may prove to be useful to others who are grieving. (Please see the sections Serious Illness and Hospice/With The Dying for related stories)

Dearest Shaina:

Music has always highly influenced my life, but never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined the benefits I have received from your beautiful CD, “Songs for the Inner Child.” I share my story so other grievers may seek healing from your music. I know they will feel similarly blessed to have your songs in their lives.

While in a metaphysical store, the clerk suggested I listen to your CD. I heard your beautiful voice singing, “How could anyone ever tell you, you were anything less than beautiful, how could anyone ever tell you, you were less than whole, how could anyone fail to notice, that your loving is a miracle, how deeply you’re connected to my soul.” After two choruses of this affirmation, I listened to the flute solo, and when your sweet, haunting voice resumed, I sang along with you for the 3rd, 4th, and finally the 5th time. My heart was captured and my mind mesmerized by the beauty of the lyrics and their personal meaning for me. I had only one month prior to this day lost my 23-year old son, Adam Thilem, to suicide.

I listened to a few more songs while reading the lyrics. By the time I heard, “And the only measure of your words and your deeds will be the love you leave behind when you’re gone,” I had paid for my CD and couldn’t leave the store because my eyes were filled with tears. “You can relax now, I am with you,” seemed as if Adam were saying this to me while at the same time I was assuring him of the same feeling. When you whisper during that song, I feel as if the hand of G-d is stroking me and telling me that everything is all right. “Peace Be With You” is a song for all parents, whether or not they are grieving the loss of a child. However, it is especially helpful and important for brokenhearted mourners to believe that their children are finally at peace.

During the next four months, I listened to this CD day and night, both in my car and at home. I played it at my Suicide Survivors and at Compassionate Friends meetings. I believe I gave all members a very special gift in listening to you sing. I cannot thank you enough for your beautiful lyrics and music. They continue to warm and soothe my broken heart as I listen, sing along, and cry. Your CD has greatly helped me through my grief process, and I know it will help others do the same for years to come. Bless you, Shaina.

Adam’s sad mom,
Harriet Gutter

Dear Shaina:

I first heard "How Could Anyone" at a friend's memorial service four years ago. The beauty of the lyrics struck me and a memory of it remained with me but I did not know who sang the song.

Earlier this year, my dad died (17 April 2002). Just after this happened, I was talking over my loss with a friend. My dad was passionate about music, especially jazz and he played saxophone, clarinet and trumpet. Because the conversation I was having was very much connected to my dad’s love of music, I happened to mention the song that had been played at our mutual friend's memorial all those years ago. We had, strangely, never discussed this before. It turned out that she was able to tell me the singer of the song and, from this, I found your web site and ordered both "Songs For the Inner Child" and "Bread for the Journey".

I have found "Songs For the Inner Child" very comforting at this time. My father was an amazing person and a lot my identity came from him. I have now lost a huge part of my life with his passing and, the part of me that forever remained a child is now completely bereft because my dad is no longer here. My mum is still alive and I love her dearly but our relationship is on a different level to the one I had with my dad. He was the one I turned to when I needed help; he allowed a part of me to remain a child. Your songs have reached my “inner child” and provided solace. I admit that, at the moment, I listen to them, often with tears, but your voice and music are helping.

When I first heard, “Return Again”, I took the lyrics literally on a spiritual level. It was as though it was a call to my dad to return to where his soul came from. “Bread for the Journey” can also be taken as a spiritual metaphor – the journey being our final one to our soul’s rest. I have taken many things from your songs and am finding a form of peace within the melodies and lyrics. Don’t know if I shall ever truly regain peace within but I thank you for helping.

Dedicated to ‘Pops’ in eternal gratitude for Ella, Louis, Billy, Glenn and ole blue eyes himself – you will always be a legend to me.

Name withheld upon request

Dear Shaina,

There is a voice within me that urges, no, compels me to tell you what your beautiful and comforting music means to me. I am a 70 year old woman who discovered your music through my "Enlightened Beings" newsletter a few weeks ago. The first time I heard you sing "How can anyone ever tell you you are anything less than beautiful...." the message contained within the lyrics,and the palpable love and compassion that I felt touch me, has meant more to me than you can know.

Just a short time after I first heard your music (my darling husband bought me "Songs for the Inner Child" and "You Can Relax Now" as a Christmas gift), my precious 93-year-old mother began to slip away from us after she fell on Christmas morning. From that day on, I have listened to you sing those comforting words in your incredibly beautiful voice. Mother died a few days ago. Even though I have known that this transition would come at any time, and that it was a blessing to her, my own "inner child" feels such loss, knowing that I will never see her again in this life. I listen to your beautiful music, which feels to me like prayer, and I am comforted, and I thank you.

With gratitude,
Claudia Little

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